After a year or so of getting shot down or ignored by more newspapers than I care to recount (okay, 82), I actually got some pretty great news yesterday. “Just humor me” was a first-place 2006 Keystone Press Award winner! On the inside, I’m using lots more exclamation points, but I’m playing it cool on the outside.
So if you will please allow me just a moment of self-congratulatory, um, congratulations. Thank you. I’m done now.
Oh, and here’s frickin' proof that I’m not completely full of crap, at least about this particular topic: frickin' proof. Basically, a Keystone Press Award in Division VIII is like one step down from a Pulitzer Prize. Or is it one step up? Anyway, it's somewhere near the Pulitzer. I can't remember if it's better or worse.
I know what you're thinking. You’re thinking: "That guy's a total douche bag." And that is true, but now I'm an award-winning douche bag.
1 year ago
Posts
*All hail the douche-bag, then!*
ReplyDeleteOnly problem is, you're "proof" ain't there, buddy...you sure you're not making this stuff up to impress us? ;)
Congrats on the award! You should be tootin' that horn!
Marie,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the toot! Also, Dude, the proof is in the blog pudding.
It's a PDF, so if you don't have Acrobat Reader installed, it won't open. But several independent sources (my mom) have verified that the link works.
You rule. Keep rockin' it out. Catch you 'round your block soon!
I'm still watching "Book TV" to catch your press conference on your acceptance of this amazing award.
ReplyDeleteI do have Acrobat Reader installed--maybe the page doesn't like my version and gave it virtual finger.
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna go back and try again.
I sent you an email, btw. Did you get it? My server has been acting kooky lately.
Hey! Congratulations! (Insert funny side comment here)
ReplyDeletePretty cool, considering I only chanced upon your site while trying to figure out bloglines.
ReplyDeleteTo me "Just Humor Me"
(as it is now - before big time Dave Barry-like popularity),
is kind of analogous to enjoying the Simpson's while they were on the Tracey Ullman Show.
Keep the columns coming and get back in sych with the pictures.
omg - my day is totally complete now..... I hobnob with a famous douche-bag! woohoo!
ReplyDeleteSeriously - congratulations! You should be very proud of yourself.... your writing is very funny and witty and I look forward to your new stuff.
Now, I'll head back to the little people......
PS - I was looking over the different columns and got a laugh out of some of the titles.....
ReplyDeleteSports/Outdoors story winner was Blind wrestler helps others see.....WTF is that???
Dudes, thank you all for being nicer and funnier than me. It was nice to come back and read these comments after a long day of pretending to work. (Note to co-workers: that was a frickin' joke. I work my ass off when I think someone's looking.)
ReplyDeleteMarie, glad you gave me a heads-up 'bout your email! Frickin' spam filter got a hold of it. I have since rescued it and will respond shortly.
Sheri -- I hadn't seen that one! I wonder if he's a wrestler and an optometrist, too.
Extremely well done, especially since your rival Lynn Jusinski has all this time been trying to send Sublynnial [what a lame-ass pun!] messages through my comments to knock you off your stride.
ReplyDeleteCongrats! That's awesome and much-deserved! (The excessive use of exclamation points is in tribute to you)
ReplyDeleteCongatulations!!! One of my close friends came over to me just this morning to say he finally checked out my link to you. He was NOT disappointed and regrets not having read your blog until now. Then we had a good laugh talking about the time you cracked your head on the pipe.
ReplyDeleteNice stuff! Well done Mike. Nice that you offer it to us free of charge ;o)
ReplyDeleteWow, what a week;I'm a milf and you're an award-winning writer... who says dreams don't come true??
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Mike!
Hmmmmm... let's see... 2006 Keystone Press Award winners - Division VIII. Since the NCAA Final Four is made up of Division I schools and I went to a Division III school of about 4,500 total student enrollment... then Division VIII must be a total of, ummm, let's see. Ohhh, sorry, didn't mean to take any wind out of your sails. But as a fellow writer (in the very same aisle you work in) I do need to keep your head from forcing the ferrett to another room. And lest we not forget poor Kara. Behind every successful man is a, what is it again Mike??? Hey but listen, I do have your page bookmarked, so that must mean something better than "Division VIII" in my book. Oh, alright... CONGRATS!!!
ReplyDeleteEh? You're still alive?
ReplyDeleteJL -- Thanks man! I kinda liked the pun, though. Maybe that's 'cause I think too lynnearly.
ReplyDeleteCarrcakes -- Your punctuation is always welcome around here.
Shandi -- Always great to hear from you. Thanks for the kind words.
Eyrezer -- People already get the milk for free, so why eat the cow? What were we talking about again?
Anna -- So now we go to Disneyland, right? Milftastic.
Anonymous -- Yes, Division VIII is the "under 5,000" circulation division, but it also contains the most newspapers. Thank you for looking out for my wife, ferret and ego.
Bonking -- Still waiting patiently for my box of scorpions and cookies from you. I know that didn't make sense to anyone else, but Bonking knows damn well that Bonking owes me some cookies. And scorpions.
The cookie issue is between you and Mrs. Bonking. As for the scorpions, you apparently haven't checked your shoes lately.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!!
ReplyDeleteYou forgot to say that you're "Goin' to Disney World"! Isn't that the standard self-congratulatory remark?? :)
Ok, so here's a shout out to Mr. Anonymous above with the apparent inferiority complex. You did say congrats finally after several below the belt blows, so I suppose I can give you that. Let me ask you this though; does the fact that I went to a Division I school with over 40,000 students make me brilliant and you a dumb ass for going to a smaller school? No. And what awards have you won? I'm sure you were proud of whatever you got, if anything. Next time give your co-worker a genuine pat on the back without the demeaning, although perhaps well intended, comments which only serve to diminish any congratulatory sentiment you were trying to share.
ReplyDelete"Anonymous", you are a Division I ass! What grand publication do you write for? Mike's a better man than I for his response to you. I would have told you to take your "Congrats" and shove them up your condescending derriere.
ReplyDeleteYee-haw...Blog fight! Don't get too many of those around here. This is fun. Let's keep it going. Hey JL and Anna -- Irish people aren't even lucky. What you gotta say about that?
ReplyDeleteOh, and Michael Schenker -- yes, I did Google your name. You're the dude from Scorpion. Very clever.
There, are you happy now?! I figured since I messed up the wedding gift and all, I should try to mend fences. SO about 2 months ago I paid this guy off who was a board member with the Keystone Press Association. I came across this guy when my office was doing some lighting design for their non-profit offices in Harrisburg. As soon as I found out they do these annual awards I knew what had to be done - I just knew it would make your day and you wouldn't care if it was earned or bought!
ReplyDeleteOh and WTF for not mentioning this to me while I talk with you on the phone?! Since when are you THAT modest? I don't think I'm that thirsty for beer anymore!
Seriously though - Congratulations! Wish you would have said something on the phone because I don't always make my way to your blog as regularly as I take a dump.
ReplyDeleteI noticed on the list that your about the only thing that Nester could pull out of his paper as a success! Poor Sarah's not cutting it - I think she should be fired!
Nester if you're reading this, "I love you and want to have your love child!"
Yikes!!! The Blog fire has begun... I think ol' Mikey knows that "Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another..." Again, book-marking his site has to be an honor almost as high as getting cookies and scorpions. I'm sure he understands my well-intentioned congrats. Anonymously only a Division IIIer. No more fuel for the fire...
ReplyDeleteAnonymous -- Dude! I understood like a mofo. And yes, I take the bookmarking as the highest of compliments. You the man!
ReplyDelete